That Joke Called Feminism

As a child, whenever I was asked about my dreams, it was quite simple. Brainwashed by fairy tales, my first priority was to get married to a "Prince Charming" and have kids of my own. It was my very own "happily ever after". However, I never cared to think about what would happen later. Once I get bored of my daily routine and would want to do something productive to feel good about myself. Of course, as a child back then, that scenario never came to my mind.

As I became a teenager, I realized that I have uncountable options to choose from, not only a marriage. I could be independent, with a career that I love and I chose to be a writer. I had a way with words at the mere age of 16 and I decided to lead myself to the path of writing, which turned out to be the only skill I realized I had.

As an Indian woman, we are quite different from the world. Education has never been a priority for us; we need to learn cooking, cleaning and expected to get married as soon as we hit our 20s. Jobs need to be quit to be with our husband, to take care of them, wash their clothes and clean up while they provide for us. As soon as we're married, the kids need to be on their way. It's a cycle that cannot be broken.

I was trying to make a name for myself, while many of my friends, younger than me, got married. This was a fact that I wasn't able to digest. At an age when a woman could work and create a career for herself, why would she get married and generate instant barriers for herself in a country like India. She had her whole life in front of her, then why choose a traditional, patriarchal path that didn't leave many options for her?

And after a few intellectual chats with my co-workers, I realized that she had no option. It was already a big deal that those women were permitted to study in a college. However, it wasn't their decision to get married. They weren't even allowed to choose their life partners. It was the intense family pressure put on them due to their caste, which got them married to a stranger, at an age when they weren't even ready.

I'm not against marriage. Two people officiating their love for each other can be nothing but beautiful. But with marriage, comes a million compromises and adjustments, solely for women. For instance, now in the year of 2018, the progressive India comprehends women in western clothes. However, most of these ladies are advised to fill up their closet with traditional ensembles after getting hitched. Some of them have to take permission after marriage to wear their favorite blue jeans.

Collectively, you may find our nation much more modern and updated with the world, but the bitter truth is lying in the gender inequality all over. Feminism is considered a disease in India and a feminist is kept at bay. The only reason for this harsh reality is that people anticipate that that we are and always be the weaker sex. It's a shame that gender equality is still a joke for not just men, but a huge class of women.

Book Review: The Whole She Bang

The Whole She Bang written by Lalita Iyer, opens up a whole world of women, and only women. Not many men really know about this world, filled with periods, unloved bodies, torturous bras, enemies of vaginas like thongs. And. Much. Much. More.

If you have already become uncomfortable after reading till here, I advice you to leave immediately. 

 

The author has conveniently incorporated the most important, yet disastrous life experiences, which have often lead me to the most embarrassing moments of my life. Of course, there must me more to come. 

The one point that struck me while reading in between the lines was that long lasting, till death do us apart, no longer works. Not all, but plenty of marriages have an expiration date. Sure, you can drag along the relationship, but it can be a complete waste of time. 

Emotional blackmail has been a part of our lives since the day we were born. And from the time we were start babbling our first word, we are taught the most sexist fairy tales like Cinderella, Snow White and other crappy stories which always concluded that a woman can only have a happy ending with her 'Prince'.

According to the society, women and cooking go hand in hand. Frankly, I prefer eating, but there are certain days, when I feel like cooking a grand feast. White sauce pasta, mashed potatoes, cream chicken. I have a talent for cooking. 

However, I am not going to add that to my resume (of marriage).

If I get married, I really don't think I would be cooking 3 meals on a daily basis. Maybe once in a blue moon.

 Men obviously have no idea about the painful ways of maintenance women have to go through, only to make sure they don't end up looking like a homeless drug addict. Waxing, facials, mani-pedis are as important as brushing your teeth.

And while women are supposed to look pretty in pink all the time, their work-life balance is completely opposite. In order to create that balance, job hopping becomes redundant to make sure you don't end up making presentations in your office till 1 AM. 

In the end, I would like to add that a man would not be able to understand the atrocities a woman has to go through, only to look a fine young woman. The adjustments of a marriage, handling work and a child, society's perceptions and those tiny sacrifices that end up taking huge chunks of her personal life, you should be fucking happy for not being a woman.

Father Daughter 101

The day I was born was the happiest day of my father's life. Not just because he had a child, but because his child was a daughter. He called up each and every relative of ours to give them the good news.

As a single child, I was pampered a lot. Sure, I didn't have to share my toys and chocolate with anyone, but my dose of scoldings were always double.



However, my father has always been a liberating man and the first thing he taught me as a woman was that my name wasn't my identity. Confused? Let me explain.

My full name is Deepti Dogra, however, when I'm supposed to sign any document, I don't use my last name. Why? Because being someone's daughter, and later on, someone's wife, would not be my identity. My identity would be my work, my personality and my behavior.



During these 24 years of my beautiful life, I have learnt that a father can either support your dreams and wishes or cut off your wings. And I have been lucky enough to be blessed with a dad who has supported me all along, during my failures and success.

He's the one who taught me to have opinions, rather than going with the flow. Of course we do get on each other's nerves on a daily basis, but that's the most important rule of a father-daughter relationship.

He's the only man who never takes me for granted ;)

Were Ross and Rachel Selfish?

If you have watched FRIENDS, then you must have idolized Ross and Rachel in someway or the other, waiting for Ross to ask out Rachel during the 1st season, and vice versa during the 2nd season. Ross and Rachel were two names you can't forget. However, after watching the show about a million times, I have realised that these two were the most selfish people in the whole series.
Want to know how?



The series began with Rachel running out from her own wedding because she (finally) realised that she didn't love her fiance, Barry. Sure, you can't marry someone you don't love, but how can it take you such a long time to realise that simple fact!

And I seriously can't understand that when the woman you have been in love with since the 9th grade is hanging out with you everyday since an year, how can you still not be able to ask her out on a date?

Instead, Rachel starts her fling with the Italian hottie, Paolo, who ends up cheating on her



Of course, when Ross had to go to China, it was more than easy for him to ask out Julie, who was just a way to move on from Rachel. Meanwhile, Rachel got to know about Ross's love for her and suddenly all she wants is to be with him.



Well, when Ross finally got to know about Rachel's feelings for him, he didn't care and broke Julie's heart like a piece of cake and the two FINALLY got together.



But Ross never dare trust Rachel, which is why he had his eyes on her when Mark came into the picture. And the minute he thought they had broken up, he was wise enough to sleep with the girl at the copy place and not tell Rachel.



Of course that led to a ice breaking fight of 'We Were On A Break' and Rachel had every reason to hate him. But seeing him with Bonnie made her realize her love for him. And yet, she was skeptical about it and wanted Ross to read that 18 page letter that she wrote for him.



And Ross fell asleep, which honestly, can happen even if you are trying to revive an old relationship. But just saying what she wants to hear can do a lot of damage, not just to the relationship, but to your friendship as well.



This triggered the battle between the two about who scores a better boyfriend/girlfriend which ended when Monica needed her cough drops. And then came Emily and Joshua.




While Ross fell in love with Emily, Rachel got too busy scoring a date with the cute Joshua, which was becoming harder even with her lucky dress, cheerleader costume and the failed attempt to remove her bra. But finally, he gave in and they started dating (for the wrong reasons).



Getting engaged to Emily was a mistake, even for Ross! They barely knew each other, let alone getting married. And in someways, she was a rebound for him as a replacement for Rachel.



Rachel got obsessed with marriage when Ross and Emily got engaged. A bit too much that it scared away poor little Joshua!
And that made her envious of Ross' wedding as they all made plans to go to London. Again, a bit too much that she decided to crash his wedding all the way in London.



Once again, Ross was in deep shit when he took Rachel's name instead instead of Emily's and that relationship went downhill.



However, this wasn't the dumbest thing the two did. Getting drunk and married in Vegas is probably seen in every other American TV series, but Ross was determined to 'save' his third marriage by lying to Rachel about getting it annulled. Of course, the cat was out of the bag soon enough and the two had to take a divorce.



One crazy night and it all ended with Rachel getting pregnant. With Emma in their life, everything else had become a second priority. Except, the two still won't understand that they still loved each other. They finally came to their senses when Rachel was leaving for her new job in Paris and Ross declared his love for her at the airport!

Selfish Love indeed!

The Beautiful Shades of Matte Red

Matte Red is the most beautiful shade that a women can ever apply. While it goes with almost everything you wear, it gives your lips a great volume with the colour black. Check out some simple hacks of wearing a red shade without spending an hour on your lips!

Vaseline petroleum jelly has always saved my lips from turning into a pair chapped dry ones and I would definitely recommend it to all the women out there.

Lipliners are best bought from a cosmetic shop, but if you are out of cash and need something cheaper, you can opt for a drugstore lipliner as well.

I have a great attachment with Lakme lipsticks and the Lakme 9 to 5 series is an amazing collection of shades. If you are in doubt about which brand to buy, try out the Lakme 9 to 5 for sure.

This is another easy way to get a desirable shade for your lips using the Maybelline Lipgradation shade as well as the Lakme 9 to 5 Rosy Sunday.

Maybelline Lipgradation's magenta shade is another one of my favourites. A tint of magenta with red is certainly a lip colour to go for.

Dress by: Marks and Spencers

Denim Shrug by: MaxFashion

World's Coolest Offices You would Die to Work at!

Offices have always been considered as a serious environment, with phones ringing, formal wears and small cubicles. What if I told you that some companies have totally changed the meaning of offices and converted them into a fun place to work. I’m sure you must be thinking how that is possible? Well, it is! Let’s have a look at some of the world’s coolest offices that will make you quit your job in no time!

1. Facebook - Palo Alto, California

Facebook, being the most used social networking website in the world, had to be on the top of this list. And how did they come up with one of the coolest offices in the world? Well, they conducted a survey asking all of their employees what kind of an office they would want. And tada! Their wish was granted. They created their office as creative as their website, with open areas to work in, calm and relaxing chambers, skating areas and a DJ area (I know!). Apart from that, they also got comfortable and stylish furniture to mix in with the creative ambience of their office. Facebook certainly knows how to woo their employees (apart from their customer)!

2. Lego – Denmark

We all played with Legos one time or the other during our childhood. But have you ever wondered what it would be like working at Lego? The answer is 'All play'! Yes, Lego has created this office just like a play station for all their employees. This step was taken to make their staff more innovative and imaginative. Their main aim is to provide a happy and comfortable working ambience for workers. Along with comfortable and colourful furniture, their conference rooms are full of light and colours, making it nothing like normal meeting rooms. The best part of working in this office is that you can play with Lego and come up with new ideas, while working!

3. Corus Quay – Toronto, Canada

When it comes to big, spacious offices, Corus Quay certainly wins the competition. Known as Toronto’s smartest building, its 500,000 square feet is home to 1100 employees. It's pretty amazing that this office has open office includes multiple places to hang out. It even includes television studios, a five-story atrium, a three-story slide and a lounge. The company’s main aim is to unite its employees by making work fun so that there is an increase in its productivity. Bright and colourful along with large televisions, this company has certainly made its office a happy place to work.

4. YouTube – San Bruno, California

We have all checked out the YouTube website and looking at their office we now know where all of its creativity comes from. After all, when you get an office this creative to work in, your imagination is bound to go wild! Painted in their corporate colours, red and white, this office has various areas for fitness activities like a swimming pool, gym and a golf course. Also, there is free-roam Segway riding, clean and comfortable eating areas. All this has been done to keep their employees in relaxation mode so that they get inspired to work and get good results (which is bound to happen in an office like this!).

5. DreamHost – La Brea, California

Creatively designed by DreamHost, their office is certainly the best place to work at. Instead of small cubicles for their employees, this company decided to do the opposite to increase the interaction among their employees. There are open as well as private areas created inside the office for the employees to conduct meetings, work or just relax. There are many places to eat and you can opt for gaming too (like ping pong!) This office is full of bright colours, large windows and different types of flooring to stun you.

After getting to know about all these offices, I’m sure you are thinking of moving to one of these countries to try your luck. Maybe I should do the same!

Stay Tan-free with these Natural Remedies

Summers or winters, you cannot stay away from the powerful rays of the sun. Work, school or college, most people get tanned due to their continuous exposure to the sun. And, no one finds that attractive. Keeping this in mind, we present to you home remedies to remove sun tan.

1. Potato

Raw potatoes are rich in vitamin C that makes it work like a natural bleach. And, if you have got a sunburn, then it's the perfect remedy to soothe the affected area.

All you have to do is peel 2 to 3 raw potatoes and grind them into a paste. Next, take the paste and apply it on the affected skin. Leave it in for 30 minutes and then wash it off with cold water. Do this twice a week and you won’t be disappointed.

2. Honey and Papaya Pack

It is a known fact that papaya extracts make your skin bright and radiant. This fruit has been used in skin whitening treatments and as well as in other skin care product to bring a glow to your skin. And, honey makes the skin soft and supple, just like you always wanted. With these two together, you would be getting a glowing baby-soft skin.

Just mash half a cup of papaya and add a tablespoon of honey to it. Mix them to get your pack ready. Now, just apply it on your tanned skin, leave it for 30 minutes and wash it off with cold water. Do this once a week and you can thank us later. 

3. Wheat Flour

Wheat flour is not only used to make chapatis, but it can also be used to take care of your skin. You might not know this but wheat flour can improve your skin tone, get rid of dark spots, and take care of uneven skin tone. And, if that wasn’t enough, it can also remove sun tanning.

You can start by making a paste of 2 tablespoons of wheat flour with water and apply it on your face. Let it dry for 15 minutes and then rinse it off. Keep this in mind that it's a time taking process and to remove sun tanning with wheat flour, you will have to make it a part of your daily skin care regime.

4. Cucumber

Cucumbers have a cool and soothing effect on your skin while keeping it moisturized. Rich in vitamin C, they help a lot in reducing sun tan and sunburns.

Start by taking out some cucumber juice and add 1 tablespoon of lime juice to it. Next, add a pinch of turmeric powder and form a paste. Apply this on your face and other affected areas and let it dry for 30 minutes. Now, wash it off with water. Apart from that, you can also rub cucumber slices on the tanned skin. Try to do this twice a week to get the desired results.

5. Almonds

Almonds not only increase your brain power, but they can also cleanse, scrub and lighten your skin. Surprised? Well, almonds have their way with your skin when it comes to removing sun tan.

All you have to do is soak a few almonds overnight and peel them next morning; blend the peeled almonds with some milk and your pack is ready. Apply it before you sleep and let it remain overnight. In the morning, you can wash it off with cold water. Remember to do this daily for the first 15 days and then twice a week to see the tan-free result.

Sun tanning has become a common problem, not just for girls but also boys as well. And, if you too are one of them, then just keep these given points in mind and you can kick out tan from your skin and life.